Posted Tue Aug 25th by Monty
This is the week – the week Jay Cutler returns to INVESCO Field at Mile High wearing the wrong shade of orange and blue. Some Broncos fans are mad, some are sad, most are a little of both. How do you cope with it? Personally, I’m taking Bob Marley‘s advice: “One good thing about music, When it hits you feel no pain.”
Here are five songs to help fans get over Jay Cutler. I didn’t just take any old five songs, either (I’m sure you could Google “top breakup songs” and get plenty of ammo there); I took the time to sift through my own iTunes library and find five jilted Bronco gems. I’m not about to have songs on my own web site I don’t like. (Note: Some NSFW lyrics/maybe content). Enjoy!
5. Sabotage – Beastie Boys
Is there any doubt that JC – and more importantly, his agent Bus Cook – engineered his way out of Denver at least to some degree? There was something dirty and sinister from the start of McJayGate. If Cutler wanted to be a Bronco, he would have been. We were sabotaged. Key Lyrics: I Can’t Stand It, I Know You Planned It / Ima Set It Straight, This Watergate (and) Why; Our Backs Are Now Against The Wall / Listen All Of Y’all This Is Sabotage
4. Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone? – Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
Maybe Ted intended it to be a rhetorical question, but Broncos fans know the answer. Not returning your owner’s phone calls, Jay? That’s just rude. For a little therapy, after each instance of the title lyrics, shout that answer: “CHICAGO!!” You’ll feel better. Key lyrics: Title lyrics sing-along.
3. All My Friends Think I’m an Asshole – The F-Holes
(Note: No video, these guys are a bit underground. The F-Holes are an awesome band from where I live, Flagstaff, AZ, who have been around for a few years but broke up this summer. Which was totally lame.)
Based on the song title alone, I’d guess this is Jay Cutler’s personal theme song. Between Brandon Marshall not being his “favorite person right now” and Devin Hester not being a “jump-up-and-get-it guy,” Jay’s gotta be feeling pretty lonely right now. Key Lyrics: I’m gonna do what I want / And no one’s gonna stop me. Yup, that’s Jay alright.
2. Song for the Dumped – Ben Folds Five
Just get angry. And a refund for all those worthless #6 jerseys sure would be nice, wouldn’t it? Key Lyrics: So you wanted / to take a break / Slow it down some and / have some space / Well **** you too / Give me my money back / Give me my money back you bitch
1. I Will Survive – Cake
OK, so this one’s going to be on that Google break up list too (in some form or another), but it doesn’t make it less pertinent. Key Lyrics: The WHOLE song. Literally. Every word, listen to it, it all fits to an almost creepy extent.
Listen to this playlist religiously for the next week, and you won’t only be completely over the Jay Cutler trade, you’ll be a manlier music aficionado as well.