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Published on 08/25/2009 at Tue Aug 25 08:24.
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This is the week – the week Jay Cutler returns to INVESCO Field at Mile High wearing the wrong shade of orange and blue. Some Broncos fans are mad, some are sad, most are a little of both. How do you cope with it? Personally, I’m taking Bob Marley‘s advice: “One good thing about music, When it hits you feel no pain.”

Here are five songs to help fans get over Jay Cutler. I didn’t just take any old five songs, either (I’m sure you could Google “top breakup songs” and get plenty of ammo there); I took the time to sift through my own iTunes library and find five jilted Bronco gems. I’m not about to have songs on my own web site I don’t like. (Note: Some NSFW lyrics/maybe content). Enjoy!

5. Sabotage – Beastie Boys

Is there any doubt that JC – and more importantly, his agent Bus Cook – engineered his way out of Denver at least to some degree? There was something dirty and sinister from the start of McJayGate. If Cutler wanted to be a Bronco, he would have been. We were sabotaged. Key Lyrics: I Can’t Stand It, I Know You Planned It / Ima Set It Straight, This Watergate (and) Why; Our Backs Are Now Against The Wall / Listen All Of Y’all This Is Sabotage

4. Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone? – Ted Leo and the Pharmacists

Maybe Ted intended it to be a rhetorical question, but Broncos fans know the answer. Not returning your owner’s phone calls, Jay? That’s just rude. For a little therapy, after each instance of the title lyrics, shout that answer: “CHICAGO!!” You’ll feel better. Key lyrics: Title lyrics sing-along.

3. All My Friends Think I’m an Asshole – The F-Holes

(Note: No video, these guys are a bit underground. The F-Holes are an awesome band from where I live, Flagstaff, AZ, who have been around for a few years but broke up this summer. Which was totally lame.)

Based on the song title alone, I’d guess this is Jay Cutler’s personal theme song. Between Brandon Marshall not being his “favorite person right now” and Devin Hester not being a “jump-up-and-get-it guy,” Jay’s gotta be feeling pretty lonely right now. Key Lyrics: I’m gonna do what I want / And no one’s gonna stop me. Yup, that’s Jay alright.

2. Song for the Dumped – Ben Folds Five

Just get angry. And a refund for all those worthless #6 jerseys sure would be nice, wouldn’t it? Key Lyrics: So you wanted / to take a break / Slow it down some and / have some space / Well **** you too / Give me my money back / Give me my money back you bitch

1. I Will Survive – Cake

OK, so this one’s going to be on that Google break up list too (in some form or another), but it doesn’t make it less pertinent. Key Lyrics: The WHOLE song. Literally. Every word, listen to it, it all fits to an almost creepy extent.

Listen to this playlist religiously for the next week, and you won’t only be completely over the Jay Cutler trade, you’ll be a manlier music aficionado as well.

  • http://mrherculesrockefeller.blogspot.com herc rock

    Nicely done.

    The Cake version of “I will survive” is the greatest cover of all time.

  • Kyle

    Thanks… Definitely one of the best. That and A Perfect Circle’s ‘Imagine.’

  • J. Kenneth K.

    Kyle, amazing idea + execution. Great addition to the site.

  • http://broncomadness.com Garrett Barnes

    I about cracked up after listening to the lyrics of I Will Survive. Amazing job Kyle!

  • Roy

    2 thumbs up. Good to see I am not the only one who knows of Ben Folds, and this awesome song. And don’t forget to give me back my black t-shirt!!

  • http://mrherculesrockefeller.blogspot.com herc rock

    Ben Folds’ greatest work is also a cover:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSJxvi767kQ

    NSFW

  • http://broncotalk.net (dee)

    I’m over Cutler, the best revenge is to have the TEAM play well and Win without him.

    I’m all about Winning and all about McDaniels,

    Cutler’s all about himself, and ALL HE knows (College + NFL ) is Losing.

  • http://broncotalk.net (dee)

    Patriots, Broncos dealing again

    http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2009/08/25/patriots-broncos-dealing-again/

    Good depthfor the backup offensive line I guess. I may be wrong but I dont recall The DON (Belichick) allowing this mean players to go from his team to any of his former Coaches teams.

    Both Cleveland and the Jets didn’t have this many former Pats. This will be #7. Maybe the Don wants his favorite son Michael (McDaniels) to be successful with the “family business” out west. And perhaps Mangini was really “Fredo”

  • Craig

    Dee,

    Are you really going to blame Cutler for the fact he didn’t have a winning record at Vandy? They’ve only had 2 winning seasons the last 30 years. Besides, he won a state title in high school but I wouldn’t exactly call him a winner because of it.

    Yeah just saw the news about Hochstein…

    How we looking draft pick wise for next year? Seems were getting rid of a lot of picks. Not really good for a team thats rebuilding.

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  • Anonymous

    Up yours!!!!!!!

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  • http://www.louie.com louie

    Where in Flagstaff are you? Granny’s Closet?

  • Brian

    Dee

    Hard to win when your Defense is ranked 29th in the NFL… Cutler was ranked what a QB again top 5 last year? Our defense was a joke and still is.

    If our defense could actually stop the other team from scoring we would have gone to the playoffs.

    Even John Elway played for the Broncos getting horrible numbers with no defense not making the playoffs.

    Dee I read your posts. You have no substance nothing to back your claims.

    I know what my Broncos did last year and the stats. Our D was the weakness not Cutler carrying our team to 8-8 last year.

  • http://www.galaxyhandbags.com/ gucci bag

    I know what my Broncos did last year and the stats. Our D was the weakness not Cutler carrying our team to 8-8 last year.

  • http://www.galaxyhandbags.com/ gucci bag

    I know what my Broncos did last year and the stats. Our D was the weakness not Cutler carrying our team to 8-8 last year.