Posted Sun Apr 1st by Monty
In a surprise move, the Denver Broncos have acquired the rights to deceased former Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis.
Per the agreement, as dictated and announced by the NFL and the U.S. Copyright Office, any photographs of Al Davis now belong to the Denver Broncos Football Club. The name “Al Davis” is now a trademark of the Denver Broncos, and the slogan “Just win, baby,” famously coined by the iconic AFL commissioner, cannot be used by any Oakland Raiders employee, fan, or website without written consent from the Denver Broncos.
The Denver Broncos indicated they are prepared to pursue legal action against all transgressors of their new trademarks and copyrights.
“It’s all part and parcel of the Broncos’ overarching mission,” hated enemy of Raider Nation and Denver Broncos Executive Vice President of Football Operations John Elway said in a statement. “That mission being, of course, to dismantle the Oakland Raiders at every turn, at competitive, philosophical, psychological, and architectural levels.”
Elway continued, “We have dominated the Oakland Raiders on the football field, and I wed a former Raiders cheerleader, so this move was the next logical step.”
The first exercise of the Broncos’ newfound copyright was to re-carve the bronze bust of Davis in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, turning it into a 3D model of the team’s current logo.
“It’s a lot prettier now,” Elway said.
The Oakland Raiders had no official comment, but The Oakland Tribune was able to reach Al’s son and current Raiders operating owner Mark
Davis for comment. The Raiders’ heir was only reported to have muttered an “Aw, shucks” upon hearing the news, though. (Name withheld due to U.S. copyright laws).
Indeed, the Denver Broncos can now literally claim they own Al Davis.
(Update: April Fools!)