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Published on 08/05/2008 at Tue Aug 05 12:37.
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[Roger Goodell]

Hello, my name is Roger Goodell.  Most of you know who I am, but for those who don’t, I am the Commissioner of the National Football League.  My responsibilities include ensuring the integrity of the game itself is maintained, as well as many of the executive financial and legislative decisions that need to be made for The League on a daily basis.  As you can imagine, with a League of over 2,500 players and thousands more coaches and staff members, I am a very busy man.

I understand that Broncos fans have become irritated at the length of time it is taking for a decision to be made regarding Brandon Marshall, but please know that I have looked at the information, met with Brandon, and am in the final stages of reviewing his case.

Quite simply, my other responsibilities to The League have required my immediate attention.  Only today, Brett Favre‘s SUV was seen parked in his parking spot at Lambeau Field.  His SUV.  Parked.  In his spot.  At Lambeau Field. Obviously the whole of my attention had to be devoted to this matter.

Also, Marshall’s violation of League rules on the field last year must be considered.  I mean, the guy threw snow.  It’s a serious violation.  We can’t have our players throwing snow and being a bad example to kids.

I promise you Broncos fans, as soon as my schedule permits, and Brett Favre takes a nap, I will reach a speedy and totally unfair decision regarding Brandon Marshall’s suspension.  Thank you.

  • TJ

    When are we going to hear a decision from this halfwit!? And Brett Favre can kiss my ass!

  • kerry

    LOL LOL. boy you couldnt be closer to the truth about Goodell

  • hercules rockefeller

    Nicely done.

  • Josh Temple

    Anyone seen the Dark Knight? It seems like Goodell is channeling Harvey Dent.

  • Truman

    Love it!

  • Jason

    Very nice of him to write us this letter. Oh, and to dole out random-seeming punishments. I would like to get my hands on his regulations governing suspension lengths. I rarely look to find where Gene “mafia” Upshaw is since he is so vocal in regards to player treatment but so silent now.

  • Roy


  • TJ


  • E. Halsey Miles

    Jason: I’m suspending you for 3 games for questioning the meticulous logic used to determine punishments.

  • Josh Temple

    Thank you for mentioning Upshaw. Everytime we have one of those BS helmet to helmet calls he is on the Broncos as quick as he can find his fine pad.

  • Person

    This is too true…

  • Jason

    If I get some therapy can I post again in two days?

  • Ian Henson


  • Trent

    Screw this man and the Jet Blue flight he came in on.

  • JP

    Adam Schefter on NFL Network just stated that the “Reported” Marshall suspension is now official. 3 games being knocked to 2 if he undergoes counseling. Good thing we are deep at WR this year. I think we will be alright….dont get me wrong, i think the suspension is horsesh**, but what can you do?

  • Jon
  • rcsodak

    I have this sick feeling in my tummy, that part of this is a ‘payback’ from good ol’ Rog, regarding THenry’s beating him in court.

    Now I wish it’d turned out the other way.

    Anybody else?

  • Pat

    bring back Paul tagliabue. Goodell is a joke and has a hard-on for suspending players. Must be a raider fan

  • Jon

    oh gosh! he’s doing a great job! cleaning up the NFL